i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I just googled if crying burns calories
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
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