Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
