I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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