omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
of course. lets lasso hookers.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Randomize
