I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
