I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize