He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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