Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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