There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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