so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
