I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize