He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
