he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
