It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I think my moral compass just broke
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
