some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Oh god it's open bar.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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