So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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