She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize