I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
