apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Randomize
