and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
