you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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