idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
