It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize