last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Randomize
