Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
