was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Randomize
