stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
