She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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