what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
