Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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