spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
