the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
