Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
porn star boner night. come get it.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
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