I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
