new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
you had me at cake vodka
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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