he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
The feeling are messing with the penis
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize