are you so shy because you have an std?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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