If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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