I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
