White coat. Heels.
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
