What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
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