But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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