Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
