Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
