It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Randomize
