the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I see more hoeing in ur future
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