i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
