don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
