I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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