There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
