She went from zero to smokin in five shots
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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