so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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