I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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