PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
he wants to bone in the snuggie
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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