Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
