Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
