what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
