all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
