Just fell off a train. Bad.
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
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