he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
