you turned your livingroom into a bong?
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
