a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Randomize
