i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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