do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
