hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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