the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Randomize
