So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
