where am i from again
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Pants are for mortals
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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