Screwed.edu
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
