he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
