areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
